Lesson from a Puzzle: 8 Steps to Transform Your Idea into Reality

Step 1: Open the Box

Dave received a Liberty Puzzle for an early Christmas present. Our daughter and son-in-law thought it would be a good project for him to do while he was healing from his shoulder surgery. Starting a Liberty Puzzle is daunting. The pieces are novel, such as skateboarders, musicians, feathers and fish, to name a few. And so, even after Dave had mostly recovered from his surgery, he still hadn't opened the box.

I'm not big into puzzles. I like to work on projects that stay done, unlike a puzzle that once I put it together, I take it apart as if it never happened. However, this puzzle was different. I felt a responsibility to our kids to see that the puzzle was completed, and so I did as much as I was motivated to do--I opened the box.

Step 2: Know What You're Aiming For--Vision

I spread all the pieces on a black felt board and assessed how much work was ahead of me. I knew when I found a straight edge, this didn't automatically mean I had found a border piece. They can appear anywhere in the puzzle. Nothing is easy about this puzzle except there is a picture of the finished scene on the box. I knew what it was supposed to look like. I had a vision to guide me.

Step 3: You Only Need to Know the Next Step

To get started I decided I only had to find two connecting pieces. That's it. Once I had these pieces, I could stop for the day. It took a long time to find two, but eventually I did. Goal accomplished. And yet, instead of walking away, I was motivated to find another piece that connected to what I had started. By looking at the picture, and the design and colors of the two pieces, I had an idea of what I was looking for among the remaining 532 pieces. It takes a long time to find one piece among all those on the board, but knowing what I was looking for kept me focused. One piece at a time: one step.

Step 4: Don't Go Away: Keep Taking Steps

Each time I approached the puzzle, my goal was to connect only two pieces. The goal was small enough that I wasn't intimidated or too discouraged to try. I didn't need to get the puzzle done quickly. I could be patient with the process, and at the same time, I was persistent. I continued to show up to the work. Don't go away. Keep taking steps.

Step 5: The Middle is Messy

Before long I made measurable progress on the top and bottom of the puzzle. The image was starting to look like the picture on the box. But, the middle is where it got messy. I no longer had different colored clothing and people to guide my steps. The middle was a sea of rowers, all wearing the same white top, shorts, and socks. All rowing. I felt discouraged. I didn't know where to start, even finding two matching pieces was difficult. The middle is messy. 

Step 6: Work With a Community

The puzzle lay dormant for a few days. Even when I found two connecting pieces, I didn't know where they fit into the whole picture. Instead of making progress, I felt like I had made a mess. About this time, friends came over for dinner, and while they were waiting for the soup to cook, they brought fresh eyes to the project. They started to see connecting pieces and how the boats fit in the sea of pieces. Their enthusiasm impacted Dave's and my interest in standing over the puzzle, searching for specific pieces, and celebrating each connecting piece.

Our friends stayed after dinner to continue working on the puzzle. By the time they left, the middle had enough shape that I was eager to return to it the next morning. Community had brought new life to this project. 

Step 7: As the Vision Takes Shape, Momentum Increases

The next morning Dave and I were close enough to finishing that we wanted to keep going. The 500+ pieces that were scattered on the board just two weeks earlier now looked like a beautiful rowing scene. As we were down to the remaining five pieces, it was obvious where they belonged. With ease, we carefully slipped them into place. Goal accomplished! 

Step 8: Just Start

The whole time I was working on the puzzle, I kept thinking that ideas and dreams are similar to puzzles. The amount of effort needed to do something with an idea might feel too difficult or overwhelming. A good idea can easily be dismissed as being too crazy, too lofty, or too something. It's easier to keep that box closed.

But some ideas and dreams don't fade away so easily. If you feel happy when you think about your idea, if your idea wants you to play with it, befriend it. Open the box. Without shape or structure, you might not know where to begin. Check in with your vision. If you had to guess as to one step you can take, what is that step? By putting something into motion you'll connect two pieces. And after that, take the next small step. 

Yes, it took work to finish this puzzle. But to get started, I only needed enough motivation, enough courage, to open the box. What box do you want to open? 

Copyright 2021. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

LIFE FOCUS FORM

In retirement, it's easy to fall into what authors Joel Malick and Alex Lippert call "retirement drift." This is when you start out strong being true to your retirement goals and intentions, but gradually one thing slips by, then another, and before you know it, you're drifting through retirement instead of driving retirement. If this describes you, I want to help you get back on course and in the driver's seat.

Antidote to Retirement Drift

The antidote to retirement drift is to complete a Life Focus Form every month, or more often. Let me explain.

I use a call focus form when meeting with my coaching clients. The form brings direction to our calls and keeps the client moving toward his or her goals.

A friend and I decided to start using the form on our bi-monthly Zoom calls. And so, when I filled out the form for today's call, it dawned on me that this form is what will keep me from sliding into retirement drift. By keeping a written record of what I'm doing and what I'm aiming for, and sharing it with my friend, I'll live each day with purpose and intent. 

I share my form with a friend because that's how it works best. I call this your accountability partner. Don't get hung up on the word "accountability." For some people, retirement is finally the time when you don't have to be accountable to other people, especially someone who will hold you to your word.

In retirement, an accountability partner is not someone who is going to make you do what you DON'T want to do. Instead, you need this person so that you do what you DO want to do. An accountability partner is someone who holds you close. Someone who cares about your happiness and life satisfaction. Someone who won't let you disappoint yourself.

Here is a suggested form to get started. If these areas don't resonate with you, then experiment with what does work. If you have a good idea, please share it with our readers in the comment section below. 

LIFE FOCUS FORM

1. Actions I have takes since our last call:
2. Insights since our last call:
3. New opportunities that have come my way:
4. Current opportunities to explore are:
5. During our next call, I most want to focus on:

Let's all drive this next stage of life with intention and purpose.

Copyright 2021. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

 

A Way of Living

Imagine there is a beautiful book on your coffee table titled, A Way of Living. The book was created by an award-winning photojournalist who spent a month with you. Based on what she observed, interviews, and photos, she compiled a book that is filled with beautifully written content and captivating pictures. The book is a creative expression of your way of life.

Imagine browsing through your book. Slowing savor each page and photo. Then write about what you learned about yourself and the life you want to create.

(I got this idea after being drawn to a book written by Pia and Simon Pearce titled, A Way of Living. The book is filled with beautiful photos of their glass and ceramics, photos of their home and property, and recipes from their restaurants. The message throughout is about their way of living. I decided it would be fun to define my way of living, especially as I look to the future.)

And What Do You Do, Now?

I’ve written a lot about the familiar cocktail party question: What do you do? For retirees, this can be an especially challenging question. I encourage people to have an answer to this question before their first day of retirement. I make it mandatory that they talk about more than what they just did.

And so, I got to thinking about my answer to this question: “I write and speak on the social and psychological side of retirement.” Most people understand what this means, and if they’re retired or close to retiring, they often want to learn more about my work. I enjoy talking about something that other people find interesting.

However, if I’m being honest with myself, the pandemic has changed what I do. I had eight speaking gigs cancelled between now and August. It’s too early to make the fall and winter schedule, but it’s very likely social distancing will still be necessary. Bringing together large groups of people may not be in our near future. And so, If I’m being realistic, I’m not speaking about retirement. At least not now.

To continue saying I write and speak on the social and psychological side of retirement is like saying I’m a stay-at-home mom, except that my three children are not home. Yes, I did that, but it’s not what I’m doing now. Similarly, yes, I wrote a great book on retirement and I speak about retirement, but it’s not what I’m doing now. There needs to be evidence of what you say you do.

Perhaps the pandemic is a good time to reevaluate just what you are doing, or want to be doing. Your standard response to, “What do you do?” might not fit you anymore. Maybe you’ve outgrown it. Or maybe this is a good time to experiment with other ideas. Maybe this is the time to let go of the “safe” answer and try some other identities.

Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, authors of Designing Your Life, state, “How many different people, roles and opportunities have you imagined for yourself before you picked the role you are in today?” They encourage us to “remember how expressive, fearless, and open you used to be—before you got so serious about being the one person you turned out to be.”

It’s been said that retirement is a “roleless” state. Yet, it can also be the perfect time to expand our thinking and imagination—to try on new roles and see how they fit. I’m going to use this break from being a “retirement expert” to focus on some of the other roles and opportunities I have imagined for myself. I don’t need to remain so serious about the one person I turned out to be. And neither do you.

Copyright 2020. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

Creativity and Retirement

COVID-19 has impacted all of our lives in ways we never imagined. At first it seemed like this might be a short interruption. My mindset was just hang in there a few weeks and we’ll get through this. But one week turned into another week and another, and still the end is not in sight. Living in New York, at the epicenter of the virus, Governor Cuomo is practicing extra caution about opening up our state.

As retirees, we may be better prepared to handle more time at home. Then again, many of us spend our retirement on the road. I’ve cancelled a trip to Denver. This week I was supposed to be in Chattanooga. The following week my husband and I had reservations on a Danube riverboat cruise from Passua, Germany to Budapest, Hungary. All cancelled. Travel is a favorite pastime for many retirees, but right now it’s not an option. Actually, this might be a good thing. Travel keeps us from having to figure out what “home” is.

On the positive side, the stay-at-home orders are inspiring us to be more creative about what we do at home. As you might have heard, people are baking bread more than ever before. Yeast sales are up 2,000 percent! King Arthur Flour is posting baking videos online called the Isolation Baking Show. Last week the CBS Morning Show aired a story on what people are doing at home. Click here to view episode.

This artistic mindset is especially good for retirees, because unlike many others, we won’t be returning to the office. We are home. And many of us need to discover and create more ways to enjoy this next stage of life.

My new creative activity is piano lessons. My sister is an excellent piano teacher, but she lives three hours from me. I’ve often said if we lived closer, I’d like to take lessons. Well, with her students having to stay home, Laurie needed a way to continue their lessons, and so she learned how to use video conferencing through Zoom. That’s when I decided this was my opportunity to ask if she’d take me on as a student. I understand I’m committing to a challenging goal. I haven’t had piano lessons in about 45 years! But I’m also excited about developing my skill set and receiving more enjoyment from sitting down at the piano.

I’m practicing yoga more than before the pandemic. My favorite yoga instructor is posting classes online, which means I can take a class when it works in my schedule and motivation.  

I dusted and oiled my sewing machine to get it in good condition for sewing facial masks. I also sewed fresh pillow covers for the deck cushions. It’s fun to reconnect with a something I used to do every day.

I’ve also used this extra time at home to write long letters to college friends. Normally they receive mail from me only at Christmas, and it’s the standard annual letter and picture. This time I savored the experience of connection as I reminisced about college days and shared the impact they have had on my life. In return, I’ve received long letters from them.

Instead of just trying to get through this pandemic, let’s look for ways that we can use this time to learn, grow, and create new meaning and purpose in our lives. When the stay-at-home lockdowns are lifted, hopefully we’ll emerge from this experience with new interests, hobbies, and connections that will further contribute to our quality of life in retirement.

Copyright 2020. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

A Bigger Vision

I want to create a vision board to hang in my home office. I limited my search to Pottery Barn because I had two coupons that were going to expire. Fortunately, I found exactly what I was looking for—a beautiful linen corkboard that’s available in two sizes: 2x3 foot and 3x4 foot. The cost of the larger board is only one-third more than the smaller one, and yet it is twice as big. It makes sense to buy the bigger board, and so I did.

When the package arrived, the board looked really big. I questioned if it would proportionately fit on the wall above my desk. In fact, it does. The wall is big enough for the board. So now the question is, “Is my vision big enough for the board?”

My plan for the vision board is to create a space to display dreams, goals, and images or objects that awaken creative thinking. Maybe paint samples for home decorating. Fabric samples for the business I’m dreaming about. Quotes that are inspiring. Pictures that bring back happy memories. I want my board to be a place of beauty and inspiration.

Questioning if I had enough to fill the board, I considered returning it to the store to buy the smaller panel. The 2x3 foot might be about the size of my dreams. But then I thought, what if I expand my dreams to fit the board?

Authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, in their book The One Thing, state, “When you lift the limits of your thinking, you expand the limits of your life. It’s only when you can imagine a bigger life that you can ever hope to have one.”

Buy the bigger board.

Copyright 2020. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.