Weekly Creative Living Quote

Weekly Creative Living Quote

IS 2017 THE YEAR?

In my retirement seminars I give participants an index card and ask them to write down how many months or years until their expected retirement date. Almost everyone writes down a range, such as 1-3 years or 3-5 years. The first number usually represents the first year that they are qualified, either age-wise or years-of-service wise, to take the leap. Every year after the first number is negotiable. 

How about you? If you were to do this exercise, is retiring in 2017 negotiable? A possibility?

Retiring is a big decision, and not one to be made lightly. There's a lot at stake beyond financial matters. And so, planning for this decision, being informed about how to best make this decision, is really important.

A seminar participant came up to me after the program to say, "My colleague has a 4-day rule. If he has 4 consecutive bad days, then he'll submit his retirement notice." So far he hasn't gotten past 3 days. This brings up a good point. When we're deciding when to retire, our emotions are not the best guide.

Research indicates that our memory of negative emotions and experiences is stronger than our ability to remember positive emotions and events. In other words, we may have more good days than bad days at work, but unless the good outnumber the bad by about 5 to 1, we're apt to think more days are unpleasant. That's why I like the 4-day rule.

Another factor that impacts our decision of when to retire is what we consider an "appropriate" age. Different professions have different retirement age norms, or reference points from which we measure if we're retiring early or late. Take away these reference points so you can decide if now is the right time for you, regardless of being early or late. The numbers are arbitrary.

Another question is, "What have you done to prepare for retirement?" By this I mean have you thought about what you want to do in this next stage of life? What do you want to make yourself available to? Until you have some idea of what this is, I suggest staying in your job. But don't just stay there and do nothing to prepare for your next encounter with retirement. Commit to exploring new interests and taking on new roles outside of your work role. Use your weekends and vacations to practice being retired. If you're quickly bored with lying on the beach for 10 days, this is a good indicator that you'll find more meaning and purpose, and happiness by creating opportunities to use your skills and knowledge.

Even if your work is positive and gratifying, and you see no reason to leave, you're not going to live forever. This is why it's important to consider the future time perspective. When you look ahead, how many "good" decades do you think you have left in your life? My age is 58, and I think I have two good decades to make the most of my life, my 60s and 70s. Interestingly, when I asked a 68-year-old man this question, he said he has two good decades remaining, 70s and 80s. By thinking about time remaining, we have to ask ourselves if full-time employment is how we want to spend that time. If so, that's great. What's important is to ask the question.

If you're waiting until you know for sure that it's the right time to retire, you might miss the best time to retire. With preparation, at some point we have to take the leap and then flap our wings like our life depends on it. Because actually, it does.

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Copyright 2017. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

Measuring Tape Mindset

A friend whom I'll call Todd purchased my book a few years ago. Now, every time we see each other, he enthusiastically tells me how he's applying the exercises from the book to his life.

Recently I ran into Todd at our local brewpub, but instead of sharing another story about the exercises I designed, he zealously told me about an exercise he made up on his own. I think it's pretty cool, so I'm sharing it with you.

 

Since Todd is a semi-retired building contractor, it makes sense that his exercise begins with a measuring tape. Todd said to take a measuring tape and extend it to the number that you believe to be your life expectancy. The number is usually based on your health and family history. It's an educated guess. Then put your finger at your age and notice the difference from the number of years you have lived and the expected remaining years. 

Todd said you can focus on how many inches are already used up compared to the amount yet to go. In doing so, it's easy to become depressed about having so much of our lives lived. Or, take a different perspective. Narrow your focus to the difference between your current age and anticipated life expectancy. Now blow up the image of these years. This is your new focus. This is the time frame from which you have opportunities and possibilities. Don't squander these years. Decide what you want to do with them—then get started.

On my 47^th birthday I figured I was halfway through my life, or as Todd would say, "halfway up the measuring tape." Not wanting to mindlessly move through the second half of my life, I wrote down a list of goals. Fast-forward 11 years. The distance on the measuring tape has shortened. And yet, I feel my life has expanded. Not by accident, but by being intentional about what I want in life.

The beginning of 2017 is a perfect time to do the measuring tape exercise. If it helps, literally mark your age and anticipated lifespan on the metal strip. Now what do you want to do with the distance between these two points? What do you really want?

Write your goals on a piece of paper. I prefer this to an electronic version because you can tuck the paper in your wallet or purse, making it easy to view often.

When you're coming up with a list of goals, imagine blowing up the distance between your two points, just as you take two fingers to expand an image on your phone or iPad. Try new ideas, set bigger goals, and commit to being more bold and brave with the distance remaining on your measuring tape.

Copyright 2017. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved. 

Book Club Magic

My sister Laurie asked me to recommend a book for her neighborhood book club. November was her month to select the book and lead the discussion. She reached out to me because every so often the club diverts from reading novels to "your type of book" she said. In other words, something that's inspiring and motivating.

I thought about the recent books I had read and one immediately came to mind: Big Magic—Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. Laurie liked the title and decided to go with it. As the evening approached, I got a text message.

(Ping) Would you give me some discussion questions for our meeting?

Sure. I'd love to. Do you want me to drive over (3 hours) to lead the discussion? (I turn everything into a seminar!)

(Ping) No thanks. We mostly talk and drink wine.

Since the club likely overlooked the effort I put into developing thought-provoking questions, I decided to share these ideas with you. Even if you haven't read Gilbert's book (which I recommend reading) her quotes will help stimulate responses to the following questions.

"When I refer to 'creative living,' I'm speaking more broadly. I'm talking about a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear." 

• What do you think of when you hear the phrase "creative living?" Do you desire to live a creative life?

 
"I finally realized that my fear was boring."
 

• If you accept that your fear is boring, how will this change your life or your decisions?

 
"What do you love doing so much that the words failure and success essentially become irrelevant?"
 

• How will you answer this question? What will you do about it?

 
"And any motion whatsoever beats inertia, because inspiration will always be drawn to motion." 
 

• What can you put into motion, even if you don't have a clear vision of where you're going?

 
"Do whatever brings you life, then. Follow your own fascinations, obsessions, and compulsions. Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart."
 

• What causes a revolution in your heart? How will you respond?

As we close out this year, my hope is that your retirement years will be magical. Not because a fairy godmother grants your wish, but because you commit to creating a life that is engaging, enthralling and enchanting. The magic is in the motion.

Copyright 2016. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

Future Selves

Do you spend much time thinking about your future self—what your life will be like in 5, 10 or 15 years? Looking ahead to the future is a fun exercise, especially if you're newly retired and in a position to create your next big thing. 

To help my workshop participants get in a future mindset, I have used this Future Self assignment:

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Imagine that you have been granted the opportunity to interview a wise, happy person who just happens to be your best self 10 years from now.  As you approach the woman's home describe what you find. What does she look like? What is she wearing? Is she living alone, and if not, whom is she living with? What is the feeling you get when you spend time with her?  (Write down your observations.)

Next, pull out your questions and begin the interview.  (You will want to create your own questions, but these may help you get started.)

1. You look so happy and relaxed.  What is your secret?

2. Was there one decision that was responsible for getting you started down this path?

3. What were some of the first steps you took to make this change? 

4. You always said you wanted to do something great.  Have you done that?  Is it different now from what you thought it was 10 years ago?

5. Is there a dream that you thought you were going to have to give up on, but didn't?

This exercise is one way to get in touch with how you want your life to look in 10 years or so. It's fun to imagine our future selves enjoying health, wealth, and happiness. It's a perfect dream. But sometimes a dream isn't enough to get us into action. And when we don't take action, our future vision remains a dream.

Maybe a better approach is to be concerned about the respect we have for our future selves. Consider this quote from Christine Tappolet, a philosophy professor at the University of Montreal:

"Future selves are considered to be strangers, to whom one can pass the buck and impose a heavy and uncompensated burden." (Noted by Phyllis Korkki, in her book, The Big Thing: How to Complete Your Creative Project Even if You're a Lazy, Self-Doubting Procrastinator Like Me.)

I found the respect perspective is a better approach to planning for my future. I have no problem identifying what I'm doing today that could impose a heavy burden on my future self. Not that I'm all-bad. I have taken some of my own advice and been good to my future self. This is why I'm here, now, writing this blog and speaking on retirement wellness. Ten years ago I created a vision for this work and put forth the effort and discipline to make it happen.

So while I haven't totally ditched my future self, there are areas where she is being sabotaged. It's surprising how easy it is to identify these areas. I suggest creating a table as shown below. In the left column list areas where you are being good to your future self.  In the right column, identify areas where you are burdening your future self.

Positive Future Self	Burdened Future Self
·      Write first book ·     Finished Ph.D. ·	·      Disciplined eating and exercise ·       Procrastinating on creating corporate retirement wellness programs

Once you complete the chart, decide what you're going to do about the right-hand column. My future self doesn't deserve to be sabotaged by procrastination and lazy living. She deserves to have the future she envisions—vibrantly engaged with her family, work, and community. 

Out of respect, I'm going to put into action the steps needed so that I meet up with this future self in 5 years.

Copyright 2016. Patrice Jenkins. All Rights Reserved.

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