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Possibly the
most dreaded question in retirement is, “What do you do?” Many of us fumble when
answering this question. We try to talk about something that feels important
and significant. As a retired school principal said, “I feel like I have to
keep talking until I see validation in their eyes.”
Instead of
talking about what we’re doing, it’s easier to revert to what we did. “I’m a
retired teacher.” “I’m a retired dentist.” People understand these jobs and the
socio-economic status that comes with them. But in most cases, they are not
what we’re “doing.” And by not talking about what we’re doing—what we’re aiming
for or creating—we miss an opportunity to build that next thing.
I’m not
saying you shouldn’t talk about what you did. It’s certainly a part of who you
are and what you bring into your retirement. But I also want you to say, “… and
now I’m doing ______.” It’s the and
that gets you and others excited about getting out of bed in the morning. People want to support and encourage your next thing. They’re eager to “add logs
to the fire” and play a part in your success and happiness. They can’t do this
if you don’t tell them what you’re thinking about—your dreams and goals for
this next chapter in life.
Author Paolo
Gallo shares a message from his dad in The
Compass and the Radar: The Art of Building a Rewarding Career While Remaining
True to Yourself. Because of his dad’s job, Paolo saw him only a few times
during the year. At a certain age, his dad stopped asking what had happened
since the last time they were together. Instead he said, “Son, starting
tomorrow, don’t talk about what you did, but ask yourself if you love what you
do, what you have learned and if you’ve managed to help others: nothing else
matters.” Perhaps this message applies to us too.
Do I love
what I do?
Am I learning
something?
Am I helping
someone?
So what do
you love to do? Make a list. If you love baking big gooey chocolate chip
cookies, do it. Don’t let your education, former status and impressive
accomplishments keep you from doing what you enjoy. Get over yourself and be
good to yourself.
What are you
learning? It’s important for your brain’s health to keep learning and stimulating
new connections between nerve cells. Mentally stimulating activities such as
taking courses, completing word puzzles and math problems, as well as
activities that require manual dexterity such as drawing, painting, and other
crafts contribute to brain health.
Who am I helping? We know from
studies in Positive Psychology that being involved in something “greater than
ourselves” contributes to happiness and life satisfaction. Where can your
skills and talents make a difference? What cause do you care about and how can
you get involved?
Starting today when asked, “What
do you do?” talk less about what you did and more about the life you’re creating.
Copyright 2019. Patrice Jenkins.
All Rights Reserved.
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